Saturday, July 12, 2025

Men's Room: Adults Only


Ted had thought it was odd that the sign on the men’s restroom door claimed it was for ‘Adult’s Only’. He’d never heard of a restroom in a theme park being for just adults. He brushed off the strange sign though and entered, he had to take a piss and bad.

When he got inside the bathroom he was flabbergasted, there was a row of at least fifty urinals on the one wall, and at least twenty-five stalls along the opposing wall. He’d never seen so many urinals in one place, it was kind of creepy in a way, but he still needed to take a piss, and he needed to hurry or his girlfriend would go on the next ride without him.

It wasn’t until after his stream of urine was emptied into the urinal that Ted realized he should have found a different bathroom. He started hearing the voices of the urinals and toilets yelling at him to leave, and he tried to, he was so freaked out by the sudden onslaught of all these male voices that he tried to run off without pulling his shorts and boxers up and ended up tripping.

The next thing Ted knew, he was on the wall, the fifty-first urinal in the line. He learned from his fellow inanimate living urinals that they were all men at one time also, most of them fathers. The urinals and toilets here were cursed, once you used one, you became one, which made Ted happy he hadn’t needed to take a shit.

Ted doesn’t know if he’ll ever get to become human again, but he knows if he does, he’ll never return to Universal Studios.

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